For the disappointed.

 

What does it mean to be broken?
To soak in what went wrong.
To live in as state of disbelief?

Been crying out for years
Mourning over the trauma
Crying out for healing


And still I am here. Sitting in it. Still having the random bouts of anxiety over it.

It seems like some just get whatever they ask for.
They go though one.

One heartbreak
One devastating event
And they pray
And their life is restored

It's almost like a magic trick.
Maybe it's a secret I'm too far off to know
The one ingredient that I keep missing
Oh do I desperately want to know the secret.

But it seems like my prayers are falling on deaf ears

I'm mad and I'm honest

I'm not asking for much
I heard the saints say "if He did it for them, He'll do it for you"

but it seems like my names been left out of the table
maybe God forgot to pick my name from the cup

it's written that hope deferred makes the heart sick
Irregular beats, and punctured.
It's left to bleed

Crying out in the streets
I bleed out
The grief overwhelms me
the hope has turned over to slumber
it hurts too much to hope
for the waves disappointment may be too deep

Hope deferred makes the heart sick
Mine lays in the ER, waiting to be seen
it waits.......

beating. beating. beating.

downtrodden and disappointed.