Redemtion

Needing to be redeemed? Start over? 

As much as I believe that I am uniquely, specially and delicately made by a creative God I was in denial for a long time that I was not vulnerable to the attacks on my self-worth and identity. Part of it was my pride, part of it was innocence, and the other part was the many wise lessons passed down from my parents.  I did not want to find myself repeating the cycle that I was always warned about. You know it, the girl who found herself trying to find her worth in men, her looks, and what society calls success. 

But one day I looked up and found myself trying on her shoes. Which turned into a full on sprint in them. And eventually, I wasn’t sure how to get out of the tired, worn down shoes that only caused blisters to my vision, and callouses on my precious heart. 

It wasn’t until a series of events turned my life upside down that I hit rock bottom and was forced to face myself and God in a way that I never have before. Drowning in my own guilt and shame, I found to my surprise that God had more grace and mercy towards me than I had on myself. As a response to grace, I began to rebuild with this God who called me loved, healed, victorious, worthy, beautiful, forgiven, and His child. 

I found my self worth in His Word. His Word compelled my most inner being to stick with Jesus and to be determined to have this abundant life that He died for.

Slowly, I began to believe that every single beautiful word in those books was for me and about me. In this season, I find my self-worth  the same way; by being planted in truth. Watering it with truth and having people around me who will remind me of truth when I start to entertain lies. I’ve learned that even when I don’t feel it, what He says about me is supreme. So I am no longer a statistic, but daughter of Yahweh.